i hate it when people chew with their mouth open. all those noises....it's gross. yeah i get it, you're eating.
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after watching me sleep, a lover once told me, "you have a sadness i don't think i'll ever understand." and another lover once asked me, "who are you fighting?"
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i woke up today and said, "fuck". i just didn't want to be awake or alive. but my feet still carried me to the shower and i still got to work on time. i even managed to laugh out loud. it isn't that i've lost myself or lost joy in life....i'm just bored of being scared. it's lame and i'm making myself lame. (i love you life, you never let me quit.)
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it's possible that a weak man holds the hand of a weaker woman. but a strong woman holds hands with a strong man.
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i had another dream where i didn't recognize a single face but i knew who they were. i drove through lush woods, there was an old mansion covered in moss which was mine, i mean, i was freely walking in and out. lots of green and white throughout the whole dream. an old 80s white cadillac, talk of molly, skinny dipping....in a cramped kitchen i stood behind a woman, remembered her "new" smell, and gently kissed her shoulder. she wondered about water balloons and windows and eyes, and we felt the heat coming off our bodies, felt the sweat of everyone around us, and i opened a window and everyone was met by a burst of air. so refreshing and REAL! the whole atmosphere was so sexually charged, everything implied, nothing menacing, but fragile and gentle. there were four of us watching a red hair woman get aroused to immediate orgasm by a red hair man who provided her with various toys. she had three vaginas, two on her left arm, and one between her legs. the red hair man used one on her arm to demonstrate how she could please herself. other naked people in the room as well. i recognized no one but they were in my house and all were welcome.
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wtf, three vaginas?
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get busy living or get busy dying.
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